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Yes & Stress

The Stress of Yes

Why do so many people say yes to requests when they know they should say no? They say yes to things they don’t have the time, patience or energy to do, but when asked, they find it almost impossible to say no. The problem they are having is the active use of the right word at the wrong time or the wrong word at the right time. I firmly believe the word yes does far more damage than the word no. Amy Morin the author of the book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Do”published an article on the website Psychology Today. In the article titled, “10 Signs You Are People Pleaser” she included in the list the inability to say no. If you cannot say no, then there are only two other options maybe and yes. All of us know that for some people is yes you don’t want to say and the no you are uncomfortable saying. A good amount of stress can be boiled down to the active use of the right word at the wrong time.



Motivation One Moment At A Time

Every Yes Comes At A Cost

I believe that every yes comes at a cost. Many people suffer from stress and in many cases, it can be boiled down to the overuse of this three letter word. So in essence, yes and stress go together, especially when no should be the answer. The issue with saying yes is it always comes with some kind of commitment of time, energy, resources. The stress comes in when it is time we don’t have, resources we could use for something else and energy we would rather not burn. Here is the tip to cut down on some stress, say no. It is natural to feel a little and in some cases a lot of guilt when saying no. The truth behind saying no is its worth it in the end.

Wise Words

A very wise man once told me that his default answer is no. The gentleman later told me the strategy behind it he said “saying no gives the ability to do two very important things first, provide an answer and secondly, consider the full weight of the request.” the right thing and provide an answer in a timely manner, but also gives him time to thoroughly review the request and after all you can always reverse your decision. When I heard this I thought, this is brilliant because it makes a no a strategic response. The initial practice of saying no may be difficult at first, especially to the people pleasers, but once you get the hang of the strategy you will come to love it.


Be Free

There is now no need to stress over your answer anymore. Say no and be free from stress and be free to make other choices. We are, at our very basic level hopeful people. Most of us have a need to satisfy someone else at some place in time or another. We hate to disappoint people and we try to avoid it as much as possible. However, there is an invisible bridge of tension between yes and no. The tension is largely due to them being two different worlds, with one word opening the doors of possibility for others and the other word opening possibilities for you. Have you ever thought it that way? Saying no creates opportunities for you, the opportunity to make a different use of your time, the opportunity to use resources the way you want, the opportunity to conserve energy you did not want to use in the first place.

There is a connection between yes and stress and we all should consider breaking the stress by saying no.